Arguing over whether Die Hard makes the cut, admiring Aldi’s new Christmas advertisement, and everyone basking in happiness, surrounded by family and friends. That’s what Christmas is perceived to be by the media. However, the reality is often more complex. For many, the holidays can trigger stress, anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation.
Research in the UK shows that fewer people are admitted to psychiatric hospitals in the week leading up to Christmas, and beds are often more available.1 This might sound like good news, but it doesn’t necessarily mean people are doing better. In fact, the patients who do need care during this period often come in with more serious issues like alcohol misuse, aggression, or self-harming behaviours.1
One reason could be that people may try to hold things together during the holidays, delaying getting help until after the season passes. Recognising this pattern can help you stay aware of your own needs and seek support early if you feel things are getting out of hand.
If you find yourself comparing your holiday experience to others, take a step back. Remember, social media and holiday movies often present an idealised version of reality. Instead of focusing on what Christmas “should” look like, try to appreciate the moments you do have, however small they might seem. Below are 7 ways which you can try to moderate your mood during the festive season.
One of the most common emotional challenges during the holidays is the gap between expectations and reality. Many people hold onto an image of the “perfect” holiday, but clinical observations highlight that when our real experiences don’t match these expectations, feelings of disappointment and sadness can surface.2
Remind yourself that the holiday season doesn’t have to look a certain way. If past gatherings were lively, but this year is quieter, focus on what you have in the moment. Gratitude for small things — a warm drink, a friendly call, or a quiet evening — can help shift the focus from what’s lacking to what’s present.
In his research, Peretti found that a significant source of holiday depression comes from the belief that “everyone else is having a good time.”1 This myth can be isolating, fuelling feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.
And in truth, people rarely showcase the stressful, tense, or lonely moments. Understanding that the picture-perfect Christmas rarely exists can help lessen the pressure. Accept that family gatherings might come with tension and that everyone has their quirks. You can’t control how others behave, but you can manage your expectations and responses.
Having a plan in place for moments of stress or anxiety can make a significant difference as to how you navigate the ups and downs you might feel during Christmas. The plan doesn’t have to be anything grand. It could be as simple as calling a friend, going for a walk, listening to music, or watching a favourite show. The key is to have go-to activities that help you unwind and recalibrate.
One of the most accessible tools for stress management is deep, diaphragmatic breathing. This practice can be done anywhere and requires no equipment. Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, helps increase oxygen levels in your blood, promoting relaxation.3
To practise, sit comfortably and place one hand on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to rise–making sure that it isn’t your chest that is rising–, and hold for a moment. Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your belly fall. Repeat this a few times whenever you feel stress building up.
Celebrating with a drink or two is normal during the holidays, but studies show that substance misuse can become a serious issue at this time of year. A study in Spain found that alcohol and even drugs were widely used at holiday parties.4 While many people enjoy drinks with friends and family, it’s important to know that overindulging can increase feelings of sadness and anxiety in the long run.
Studies from Finland and Australia found that deaths related to alcohol poisoning peaked during the Christmas season.5 This shows how important it is to set limits for yourself. Be mindful of your consumption, and try to set boundaries for yourself. If you find that alcohol has been a coping mechanism in the past, consider alternatives like non-alcoholic drinks or festive mocktails.
Loneliness can be exacerbated during the holidays, particularly for those without close family or friends nearby.6 Finding a sense of community, even in small ways, can help alleviate these feelings. This might mean attending local events, joining a club, volunteering, or reaching out to social groups or centres in your area.
If physical gatherings aren’t possible, consider virtual meetups or joining online forums and communities. Engaging with others, even briefly, can help create a sense of belonging and boost your mood.
It’s important to acknowledge that while the holidays can amplify emotions, they don’t define your overall mental health journey. If you find the season challenging, know that you’re not alone. There is support, and taking even small steps towards self-care can make a significant difference. For any immediate help, please reach out to charities like Samaritans or Mind.
Ballard C, Bannister C, Davis R, Handy S, Cullen P, Chithiramohan R. Christmas census at a district general hospital psychiatric unit. Ir J Psychol Med [Internet]. 1991 [cited 2024 Nov 7];8(1):46–7. Available from: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/irish-journal-of-psychological-medicine/article/abs/christmas-census-at-a-district-general-hospital-psychiatric-unit/5764FA0A391D8C1309E095ED6BB3539C
Sansone RA, Sansone LA. The christmas effect on psychopathology. Innov Clin Neurosci. 2011 Dec;8(12):10-3. [cited 2024 Nov 7] PMID: 22247812; PMCID: PMC3257984.
Hamasaki H. Effects of diaphragmatic breathing on health: A narrative review. Medicines (Basel) [Internet]. 2020;7(10):65. Available from: http://dx.doi.org/10.3390/medicines7100065
Vidal-Infer A, Tomás-Dols S, Aguilar-Moya R, Samper-Gras T, Zarza MJ, Aguilar-Serrano J. Christmas work dinners. A pattern of recreational use of alcohol and other drugs? Adicciones. 2009;21(2):133–42
Kushnir V, Cunningham JA. Event-specific drinking in the general population. J Stud Alcohol Drugs [Internet]. 2014;75(6):968–72. Available from: http://dx.doi.org/10.15288/jsad.2014.75.968
Collins T, Kenney C, Hesk G. ‘It pushed me back into the human race’: evaluative findings from a community Christmas event. Health Soc Care Community [Internet]. 2017;25(5):1601–6. Available from: http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/hsc.12342
